What better way to spend an ominously cloudy morning in the office than to watch a “horror & terror” themed porn? Well there isn’t anything I can think of off the top of my head. So I get this email informing me of a film that has just gone live on GayHotMovies.com, it’s title, “Scared Stiff”… And I can tell you I was frightened to get a stiffie from this one.
A. It’s a Bijou classic (we all know how I love those).
B. Once I saw that Al Parker was in it I practically creamed.
C. It’s horror themed!
The film is digitally re-mastered so it looks incredible, and consists of eleven, that’s right ELEVEN hard-on inducing scenes from the past… This is bound to be good. So let’s start…
A scene from “Gayracula” (yes you’ve read correctly). Twenty one year old Gaylord Young (Tim Kramer) has just arrived to present an object to the Marquis De Suede (Steve Collins) from his Aunt Bella.
*Look at that fancy outfit…
This blonde young stud (Kramer) looks rather dapper in his 18th century inspired outfit (I will say, the costume department did a good job on the details [I was slightly disheartened as an individual with a background in historical costuming that this particular ensemble would have been worn in the early 19th century and not 1783 as the film states as its date] even if they’re stripped off in moments). With a wave of his hand the Marquis has Gaylord under his spell, leading the virile, muscled and hung object of his lust into the candlelit bedroom. This pair wastes no time getting down to the carnal deeds their bodies crave. Both the Marquis and Gaylord take turns face fucking each other’s thick cocks (these guys have some lovely suckable balls between their thighs as well…) before the Marquis slides himself onto Gaylord’s raw shaft.
After riding him for a while the Marquis is on his back getting a good pounding by the currier from “Crutchly, Bloomfield & Smithe” atop some, what appear to be, fabulous black satin sheets of really good quality (hell, they’re almost as shiny as these two men’s glistening oiled bodies).
The Marquis has no problem cumming all over his closely cropped chest fur, but I was ready to pump one out with Gaylord as De Suede sucked his beautiful (I mean it, it’s gorgeous) dick…
Unfortunately before that load is released the Marquis shows his true colors and bites down on that fresh muscled neck of Gaylord’s. The scene is fucking hot and the quality of the makeup used for the bite marks (when Gaylord has a chance to examine himself) is quite well done!
*Stop, that tickles!!!
*Duhfuck…
*Jerk…
*Pretty face.
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The next scene is from “Getting It” for a short one it’s pretty good, lots of smoke and mirrors (no, I mean it, there are a lot of mirrors and a lot of smoke in this leather clad scene) Highlights include cum on leather, cum on faces, and in mouths, and plenty of screaming.
*Smokey…
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*Look at that cute little bumm… I want to bury my face in it…
Next up we have a real nightmare! Yep, my all time, hands down, the god of gods, favorite, Al Parker stars in a frightening dream sequence from “Inches”.
*Run Al! Runnnnnnnnn!
A group of masked men take turns with bearded stud Steve Taylor’s mouth. One by one Steve gets these anonymous hard bodied hunks hard with his wet tongue and agile hands, all the while Al watches unable to stop his lover from what is going to be one hell of a fuck!
*Handsome
*What a nice strand of delicious pre-cum…
There is some freaky shit going on in this iconic scene (from heavy breathing, amazing glistening ropes of pre-cum to tied up balls) Steve Taylor’s body gets used! What a fucking hot pup he is, riding every dick in sight, sitting down on inch after inch of throbbing hard flesh and just letting it all take over.
Al Parker is forced to watch this insane act of depraved man sex all the while before awakening from what was all just a dream…
*So gorgeous
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Beautifully shot in a surreal setting on a bed of rust coloured velvet this scene from “Night Of The Occultist” takes group sex to a new level. I swear, the moment I saw these guys in their capes and collars I was immediately reminded of a cartoon from my childhood… Perhaps you’ve seen “Underground World” a Superman cartoon from 1943? Well, maybe the director did too…
Complete with fog and foreboding music, this cock-worshipping, creepy paintings and beautiful barebacking resulting in creamy loads of spunk is the type of film I’d like to make in my basement.
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I knew something was going to be good when I saw the staircase in “Strictly Forbidden” especially since one of my favorite sculptures (“The Shades” by Rodin) is featured on the landing.
As Thomas (Jeffries) wanders amongst more Rodin masterpieces (including “The Burghers of Calais” and “Falling Man”) this art fag’s heart (and penis) jumped… art AND sex! SWEET!
*Bust of “Falling Man” by Rodin.
*“The Burghers of Calais” by Rodin
This museum does have its off limits areas, but Thomas heeds no warning. Into a whole new world he goes. I was impressed with the use of lighting by director Jack Deveau, one almost believes the muscular bodies of the stars are actual stone (achieved with clever projections of marble and stone walls).
Suddenly the sculpture has come to life and some seriously beautiful kissing ensues (I love some hot tongue action). Now there is a creepy mummy going on that I didn’t quite get, but as the high pitched music leads us into the action it’s awesome.
*HOT
*Wasn’t really into him…
The sound of moaning and sloppy balls slapping against sweaty asses punctuates the soundtrack. Everyone is fucking in this scene; swathed in deep crimson light some guy is getting it bent over a pedestal while sucking another pair of dude’s dicks… on the floor in the cool blue light, a totally hot bearded stud pushes an over sized dildo into a greedy boy hole. Thomas soon finds himself amidst all of this. What I imagine to be an all consuming and a deliciously musky smelling scene is just that! Trippy music, crazy sex and a finale I wasn’t expecting, all drenched in cum; this scene is one of the best in this collection.
*That is a BIG dildo.
*ummm….
*What the?
*Wait… Who the hell are you?
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“The Spirit Is Willing” from “Four In Hand” is yet another gem from the past incorporating some pretty high tech special effects for its day. Muscled young stud Bo Richards with his messy mop of golden curls and angel faced (kind of looks a bit like Tom Welling) Dino Hard, arrive in a bedroom in an almost silent film era-esque fashion as two travelers.
“What happened Otter?”
*This guy Tom…
The boys immediately strip down and slip into their respective beds; however their spirits are not yet ready for dreamland.
The sexy supernatural pair make it over to a black leather couch where Dino takes a mouthful of Bo’s transparent cock. The really hot action begins once these guys are flesh again, and damn it is great. Bo leads Dino to the side of the couch where he bends him over and literally fucks the cum out of him before he himself lets out a milky white spunk eruption all over his partners smooth back and firm ass.
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What happens in this scene could be pretty cool… Could be, except I was not into the models. Although it was funny when his roommate (or whoever he is?) comes home with a six pack only to witness his skinny friend getting rimmed by an unseen person. Perhaps this short scene will inspire a better remake in the future… Lets take a look at a scene from “A Ghost Of A Chance”.
*Shake it like you just don’t care…
*I’d like to see this guy naked.
*Supernatural “O” face.
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From “Centurians Of Rome”. In an all too brief orgy set in an ancient Roman prison, George Payne (the bearded god) finds himself bound in shackles, witness to a scene of depravity only the Roman’s were capable of. Slaves are tied and restrained while helmeted soldiers have their ways with their toned bodies, hard cocks and tight asses. For a scene of this length it certainly packs a punch and invites the viewer to watch the entire film… Which btw is GLORIOUS!
*Great costuming.
*Sucking & fucking…
*Sorry George, we all know you want in on the action…
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The creep factor is amped up to a whole new level in a selection from “The Destroying Angel”. Haunting imagery, surreal hallucinations set in kerosene lamplight take the audience on a shroom trip hookup that we know isn’t going to end well.
*Kerosene!
Starring Tim Kent in the leading role and, Bill Young (legendarily well endowed Bill Eld) as the trick who fucks Tim’s tight, tormented, Catholic hole. The scene intensifies as Bill fucks Tim with his massive missile cinched by a tight cockring, his own satisfaction is not going to be ignored and when he cums it’s only for himself. After the creaky iron bed has stopped rocking, Bill’s had enough of whimpering Tim and dresses rather coldly and hits the road leaving Mr. Kent to battle his demons alone… in the dark.
*Hurts sooo good…
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*Great Tee shirt.
I wasn’t necessarily scared when “Erotic Hands” began, only when the raw anal started did I begin to question whether I was or not, and not for the obvious reasons. Grungy, industrial, leathery, three little words to describe what was about to happen between two strangers meeting in what appears to be some kind of warehouse down by what could be the NYC harbor dock yards. In this filthy concrete and rusty steel setting two bikers are ready for some serious anonymous fucking. Biker one removes his helmet to begin worshiping the body and cock of his masked partner. This guy sucks some serious dick, but what he really needs is to get fucked. Here’s where I was simultaneously turned on and suddenly very worried for the health of the horny bottom waiting for it on the motorcycle. You see, top man goes over to a nearby corner where he lubes up his fat dick with… Motor oil.
*Is that?????
*Yep, it’s motor oil…
Yes, motor oil, the thick and sticky liquid coats his cock as he slides it into the oh so willing hole. My mind was reeling; is it really motor oil? Couldn’t that kill you if absorbed into the membranes inside of your asshole? Does it burn? What does that smell like? It was kind of hot though… So the pair fuck dirty on that bike before helmeted Mr. Top pulls out and blows his carburetor, and after… A rather frightening reveal that I had no idea was coming.
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*Who??? Wha….
Looming over the entire sequence of events is a strange gender fuck character like a magical genie or something; from “Falconhead” comes a scene of primal fantasy mixed with acid…
There was a lot going on in this vignette plucked from the film ( I highly recommend watching the full film). Artistically lit, this is hardcore sin in soft focus. Plenty of writhing, punching, mustaches, rimming, confusion and of course fucking fill up the ten minutes of this, the final act of “Scared Stiff”. I enjoyed the roughness of the scene, the way that top just crams his cock down the greedy bottoms throats is pretty hot as well as watching his fat dick slip right on in to those lubed up butt holes.
*Falconhead
*?
When it’s all said and done I was left a bit confuzzled, what was with the fish tanks, did that guy drown, who is the bearded lady??? Make sure to watch “Falconhead” for the full story.
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“Scared Stiff” is a great collection of classic film samples, and I enjoyed almost ALL of it! From the quality, to the creativity, to the stars of this film, you won’t be disappointed… You’ll be SCARED STIFF. So pull out that dick boy and settle in for an awesome cum-fest from the golden age of gay porn.
The Otter.